Dating Married Men

By Miss Rikki

SistaGirlz, have you ever been smiled at or looked at a little to long by a guy who was obviously with his woman?  What about being approached by a man after having seen him with his significant other?  Or have you been propositioned by a man who you know (and he knows you know) is married?

Recently, Fantasia and Alicia Keys have been in the headlines because they are both romantically linked to married men.  Maybe it’s me, but I expected more from these young ladies.  I mean, yes women entertain married men everyday, but these ladies are in the spotlight.  The world is watching and whether they like it or night they are role models for some young girls out here.

Fantasia pubicly denied having a relationship with Antwaun Cook – the married father of two – from early November, when the story broke, to early January.  Later pictures surfaced of her with his last name plastered on her left shoulder area and boo’d up with him in Barbados for the Barbados Music Awards.  Clearly, she lied.  Which means she obviously recognizes she’s wrong.  So why does she continue the relationship?  I guess half a man is better than no man at all (I say that with complete sarcasm because she must be half crazy if she thinks that to be true).

And then there is Alicia Keys.  She has never denied her relationship with Swizz Beats, but his wife, Mashonda, does state that  he was involved with Alicia prior to any separation.  He, of course, denies that Alicia was a contributing factor in their break-up.  But then why would Mashonda not know that you were accompanying Ms. Keys on her European tour last summer?  I mean, if you all were in agreement that you were separated and all?  Whatever the timeline of events, one thing is certain – Swizzy and Mashonda are still married.   So why on earth is Alicia sporting what looks to be an engagement ring?  And she has bought a home with this man! SMH!  I don’t get it.  To be fair, I fully understand that Swizz Beats has a lot of money and it may take time for he and his wife to reach an agreement as far as a settlement is concerned.  Still, he should complete his business with his wife before moving on as if she never existed.  I mean really.

SistaGirlz, it’s time that we take responsibility for ourselves.  How dare a man involved with another women even approach us?  We have to realize that men who cheat on their wives, or leave their families for other women are, well, LOSERS.  I am not and will never be attracted to any man who cannot stand as a man and take care of his personal business and responsibilities before endulging in pleasure.  It’s sickening.  And what’s more sickening is that we, women, allow it to continue to happen.  For the life of me I can’t figure out why some of us have that “Well, she must not be taking care of him,” etc. attitude.  It matters not what she is or isn’t doing and whatever he says he’s not getting he should take up with her – the woman he stood before God with and promised to love, honor, and cherish for better or worse til death do they part, not you.  I beg of you SistaGirlz, BEHAVE LIKE A LADY.  Because when you sleep with dogs, you eventually get fleas.

New NYC Tourist Destination: African Burial Ground Memorial

It may seem like a visit to a burial ground would bring a macabre overtone to your NYC vacation or day trip, but what you will find promises to be something entirely different.

Back in 1991 during construction of a would-be federal office building, workers unearthed a grisly scene of body parts. The remains of 419 African American women and children were disrupted, while another two hundred remained undisturbed. This finding led to African Burial Ground National Monument, which opened to little fanfare in February 201o.

The discovery of the bodies gave way to research which estimates 15,000-16,000 bodies were buried the the oldest and largest African cemetery in North America. To honor those that were buried without tombstones, in a mass grave, they have built the Monument.

The 2,500 square foot visitor’s center features four exhibit areas and boasts  a 40 seat theater which describes in greater detail, the discovery of the bodies. The pictures displayed tell the stories of African Americans during the 17th & 18th century, all the way to the present.

Admission is free and the center is open Tuesday – Saturday 9am-5pm.

African Burial Ground National Monument?290 Broadway, 1st Floor?New York, NY 10007?(212) 637-2019

http://www.nps.gov/afbg/index.htm

The picture was reshaped from actual skulls, by forensic sculptor, Frank Bender.

Source

Un- Model-Like Behavior

(Naomi and her Married Billionair Boyfried. He’s the reason she “allegedly” hit the limo driver. )

Short tempered model Naomi Campbell has struck again, literally. Earlier this week Ms. Campbell was accused of slapping her limo driver in the back of his head while he drove her in midtown Manhattan. She hopped out of the limo and took off on foot as they pulled to a light. The limo driver, Miodrag Mejdina called the cops and the news immediately hit the internet.

The behavior of this woman calls into  question if  these are anger management  issues or just plain ol’ case of  ”no home training”.  Since when did it become okay to strike someone? I know we all have had the urge to vent our frustration with a kind five finger greeting, but I’m hoping you didn’t do as Naomi did. And if you did, I’m sure you haven’t done it since. Have you?

What happened to manners? Have we all become uncouth? Her behavior puts a dimmer on the fantastic fashion show she organized just a couple weeks ago, in honor of Haiti relief. I guess I’ll give myself some relief and stop wondering about these celebs and their sense of entitlement.  The cycle seems to continue.  Naomi’s limo driver is now apologizing for involving the cops. Sigh.

* It’s up to Us to set the standards for our young SistaGirlz.* Be the Change You want to See in this crazy, mixed up world!

Mo’Nique, Cassie Goes Blonde & More!

Mo’Nique is gearing up for the Oscars this Sunday! We’re hoping she brings home the big prize! Meanwhile, Mo has also shared some of the secrets to her marriage. She and hubby Sidney keep the flames lit by “hairy legs”, she doesn’t shave and she also believes in OPEN Marriage. Check out what she said in a recent interview:

“Let me say this: I have not had sex outside my marriage with Sidney. Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal-breaker. That’s not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let’s end the marriage. What if it’s 20 times? So what? We’ve been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don’t know who they’re laying next to. I’m very comfortable and secure with my husband.”

Wow. I don’t think I’m that opened minded. Hmm. Girl please, I KNOW I wouldn’t be cool with that situation! LOL!

Rihanna sported this green ensemble the other day. What do you think? Wait! Before you answer, check out the back of it! It looks a curtain. Just my thought!s! LOL

I’ll say this. She’s a risk taker when it comes to her outfits! LOL

Speaking of Rihanna. Here is a lost flick from her Bday party.

Is this how we dance at parties now? Girl, I’m so ol’ school. Wow.

Beyonce shooting on location in one of my favorite future vacay spots, Santorini, Greece.  She’s modeling clothes from her House of Dereon collection.

Wow! She looks gorgeous, there! Yes, I know it has been airbrushed, but she still looks fly. Sigh.What kind of makeup & skin care does she use? I need the complete set! LOL

I read somewhere that Cassie was trying to channel Jennifer Lopez with her newly blonde hair. I can see a slight resemblance. I think it looks good on her, though! What do you think?

Cassie and her “Suga Dadddy Diddy” were spotted in Tokyo and Paris this week.

Essence Lunch Flix, plus Beyonce in the White House!

Jay-Z and his wife Beyonce took a tour of the White House while Jay was in D.C. for is Bluepring 3 Tour.  The President wasn’t in any of the pics, but I hear he was there. Wow! What’s next for Hov? Maybe the White House! LOL!

R&B singer Trey Songz was there too, along with mama Tina Knowles and record exec, Kevin Liles.

Jada Pinkett Smith tears up as she presents an award to her friend Queen Latifah. Awww. One of these days I’m gonna get me an invite to that luncheon! So many beautiful  and powerful SistaGirlz. I know the energy in that room  was empowering!

Mary is killing that dress! You go, SistaGirlz!

Zoe Saldana will go down in history for starring in one of the biggest grossing movies of all time, Avatar.  She looks fab! Shh. Don’t tell anyone I haven’t seen the movie yet!

Be About Your Money, SistaGirlz!!

It’s that time again, SistaGirlz! We are having our next “Be the Change Empowerment Series” session March 20th! The theme is    “Be About Your Money”. We will have Blondel Pinnock, VP of Carver Bank in the house to answer your financial questions! Get your tix today!

Use the Keyword: Sista

Buy Tickets Here!

#1 Thing NOT to Do With Your Tax Refund

By Miss Rikki

 

It’s tax season!!!!  Have you compiled all the information needed to file your taxes?  Are you paying someone to do it, or are you doing it yourself?  Either way, you’re refund is on the way and the #1 thing you should not do with your refund is…

BLOW IT ALL ON CLOTHES AND SHOES!

 

Okay, now that I’ve said that we will move on to some smart ideas on what to do with that cold hard cash!!! 

1. Pay off a credit card or loan:  If you have a credit card or loan with a large balance, use this as an opportunity to get ahead.  Pay it off.  Or at least pay it down, so that your monthly balance due is a little lower and you have more operating cash from month to month.

2. Get major work done on your vehicle:  This may not necessarily apply if you have a newer model vehicle, but for those of us with older cars this would be a good time to look into a few maintenance items.  Stuff like getting belts and hoses changed, brakes, getting different fluids flushed and changed, new tires, etc.  This can be really beneficial because if you don’t have the money on a regular basis to get these things repaired, should they become an issue, you probably don’t have the money to buy a new car.  Spend the money now to get them in tip top shape so you can keep your car or tuck on the road a little longer.

3.  Home repairs/upgrades:  For my home-owning SistaGirlz, do something to improve your home.  I’m not saying completely renovate a whole room, but things like a new coat of paint, crown molding, floors, or windows can make drastic improvements on how your home looks and feels.  Plus some of these things can help you out in the long run.  For instance, a new energy efficient hot water heater or energy efficient windows can help you save on energy costs. 

4. Save Save Save:  This one is my personal favorite.  Put some money away in a savings account.  While you should have 6 months to a year’s worth of living expenses in a liquid account, a $1,000 emergency fund is a good way to start.  When you have money in your savings you won’t be so stressed when one of life’s little emergencies comes upon you.

SistaGirlz, I am definitely not saying you shouldn’t have a little fun with the money because you definitely should.  Buy that handbag or pair of shoes you’ve been wanting.  By all means, update your work wardrobe or get ready for the spring and summer.  The most important thing is that you plan out what you’re going to do with the money.  Literally get a pencil and a piece of paper and write it down.  Then post it on your refrigerator or bedroom wall.  You don’t want to get in a situation where you’ve spent the money haphazardly; feeling like you don’t have anything to show for it.

Success Never Smelled So Sweet by Lisa Price

By Miss Rikki

In the spirit of inspiration we are featuring Success Never Smelled So Sweet: How I Followed My Nose and Found My Passion by Lisa Price. Here is a SistaGirl, who took and idea and made it into a national sensation. She talks about Carol’s Daughter from the beginning to the -then- present, her life’s twists and turns at that time, and there are even a few recipes and rituals for relaxation, empowerment, and well, like the title of one of the chapters – Jus Cos. So get the book, take a seat, and read about her journey to success. Who knows it may inspire you, or shall I say empower you, to do something with that great idea you have floatin’ around in your head.

No More Butt Cracks!

By Miss Rikki

 

I am so so so tired of seeing butt cracks everywhere I turn.  The butt crack of girl bending over to pick up something she dropped on the floor.  The butt crack of a mother squatting to get closer look at some items on the bottom shelf at the grocery store.  The butt crack of a girl around 10 standing in the checkout lane at Target.  And the worst offense ever…The butt crack of a little girl about 5 or 6 sitting on the shoulders of a family member.  What is the world coming to!  There used to be a time when the only unwelcome butt crack you would have to worry about is one of a overweight plumber, cable guy, etc.  Now, there are respectable young ladies out here showing their butt cracks to the world.  It’s an epidemic!  I can no longer stand by and let this unsightly mess continue!

The culprit…Low rise jeans

SistaGirlz, I’m gonna say something here that some may not want to hear but it must be said.  Low rise jeans are not for everyone!  I will venture to say if you have any backside or hips at all or your stomach is not a six pack, then you should steer clear of the low rise jeans.  Oh and no one should be wearing ultra low rise jeans.  I have no earthly idea who those are for.

I don’t care what the anyone else says, “butt cleavage” is not sexy.  It’s nasty.  Take the time out to find out which designers make regular rise jeans that work with – not against- your body type.  Regular rise jeans do still exist even though they can be a challenge to find.  But trust me, it’s well worth it.  Gap and Target both have the no gap waistband jeans and I’m sure there are other designers who haven’t gone all low rise.  Also, insure that you are shopping in the right department.  Anyone 21 and older needs to stay out of the Juniors department when it comes to jeans.  Those designers are not making jeans for a grown woman’s body.

Another option is high-waisted jeans.  Definitely try them on first, so you don’t look like Jessica Simpson did in them.  You want to go more for the Rhianna look pictured below.  It’s very cute and very classy.

 

Calling all SistaGirlz!

If you own a great pair of jeans that you never have to worry about hanging down around your butt crack, post a comment and let us know the brand and where to get them so the rest of us can get it together too!

*photo credit: Justjared.buzznet.com

Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months by Melinda Emerson

It’s been a tough haul for millions of SistaGirlz in this economy. Companies are laying off employees left and right, and bills are still due! Maybe it’s time to consider taking your skills some place where they will be valued: you own business. Maybe you’ve been thinking about going into business for yourself, but you were overwhelmed by the process. Well, your prayers have been answered! SistaGirl Melinda Emerson has put together a step by step guide to help you become a C.E.O.

Ms. Emerson started her own production company, Quintessence Media  in 1999 and has since received many accolades, including being named one of the Top 30 Leaders of the Future, by Ebony Magazine. She has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, NBC, and she hosts her own show on Twitter every week called #Small Biz Chat.   Life as the “Small Biz Lady” has taught Ms. Emerson thing or two about running a company. First, and possibly one of the most important lessons is” Owning a business is not a get-rich-quick scheme; there are no fast-food solutions.”

In her book, Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months, Melinda gives steps and guidelines for each month:

Month 1: Develop a Life Plan

Month 3: Set a One-Year Budget

Month 5: Visualize Your Business

Month 9: Build Your Marketing Strategy

Month 11: Launch Your Business

So, what are you waiting for! Find your niche and Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months! We need more female entrepreneurs! Who knows, maybe we’ll be featuring you on the site soon!

Pick Up the Book and get more info on Melinda Emerson at:

http://twitter.com/smallbizlady

website: www.melindaemerson.com

blog:www.succeedasyourownboss.com

email:melinda [at] melindaemerson [dot] com

book:www.BecomeYourOwnBossBook.com

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