Get it in Gear!

By Leandra Williams

There’s more 2 life than what meets the eye. We can be, do, and have so much more than what see around us. I’m talking about the mediocrity, the settling, the chronic dissatisfaction. In my own personal journey, I notice long-standing habits that are preventing me from reaching my goals, predominantly gross procrastination and giving into fear. This awareness led me to two new operating mantras. First, time management is life management. Second, do it scared!

These two concepts really work hand-in-hand. When you consider some of the things you’d like to do, but have yet to, you’re probably trying to fit them into your life or putting them off because of various fears.

Time management is life management

As Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch says in his lecture on time management, “time is the only commodity that matters.” It’s the only thing you can’t recover and it makes up all the moments in your life. In the video below, Pausch delivers a lecture to University of Virginia students about making the most of such a valuable commodity, which he takes seriously after being diagnosed with cancer and given three to six months to live. The tips he provides are worth setting aside the 75 minutes you’ll need to watch the presentation. He covers goal setting, the 80/20 rule, the importance of inspiration, planning, to do lists, filing, how to eliminate things to do, time journaling, procrastination, delegation, and more. Considered one of the best talks given on time management, it’s a must-see.
“If thou dost love life, then do not squander time… for that is the stuff life is made of.”
- Benjamin Franklin

Do it scared!

Fear plays a bigger role in our lives than it should. We give it so much power when it’s really just a hurdle to jump over. Once you successfully face your fears, they begin to diminish. Fear of failure is quite common. Instead of shrinking into our emotions, motivational speaker Anthony Robbins suggests using logic can make all the difference.
Speak with your elders and ask them what they wished they would’ve done differently. Among the list, you’ll receive lots of should haves. I’m learning that it’s not the things we do that we learn to regret most, but the things we didn’t do. Start reducing that list now by asking yourself “what’s the worst that could happen?” Once you’ve figured that out, consider how you could undo the worst. Is it really that bad?

When the fear won’t go away, do it scared. Accept fear as a part of life, but don’t let it limit you. If you’re scared about the unknown, remember the metaphor of driving through the night. All you can see ahead of you is the next hundred to two hundred feet, but you can make it to your destination with such limited vision, as long as you keep going.
The elusive they says, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Plan your time, prep yourself, and do it scared. You’re likely to surprise yourself.

Specific tools and tips to set goals, avoid wasting time, deal with a boss, delegate responsibility, and deal with stress and procrastination

Violence is Violence

By Miss Rikki

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a friend’s status comment, or it may have even been a wall post on her Facebook page.  On it she said something to the effect of Rhianna’s domestic violence situation being vastly different from the thousands of women who have to walk on egg shells at home trying not to get beaten.  Then there were the comments.  Some said they agreed and she clearly had to have done something to set him off.  Needless to say, I WAS DISGUSTED.  I wanted to add a comment of my own, but I decided to write this article instead.  I know in FB world that status and the series of comments that went along with it are ancient, but after all this time it has really stuck with me.  So I’m climbing up onto my soapbox to Speak On this topic.  Here it goes…

How dare anyone who has not been a victim of, or a witness to – and therefore still a victim of – domestic violence have the audacity to make such an assertion about a serious matter that they have never been privy to.  Before I go on, I will admit that I did not ask anyone if they had ever been a victim of domestic violence, but I can say that based on the way the topic was presented and the comments that followed none of those young ladies have had any first-hand experience with that type of situation.  I will also note that I am qualified to discuss this matter.

Moving on…

To say that her situation is vastly different than any other battered woman is beyond ridiculous.  The only two things that make the situation a little bit different is 1)the people involved are celebrities and therefore the whole world knew about it and 2)she had enough sense/or was pressured by her managers , family, or responsibility to her fans to get out. 

Let’s discuss what is the same, shall we. 

• She was assaulted by her partner whom she deeply loved.
• At the time she feared for her life. He threatened to kill her and told her she was really gonna get it when they got home.
• She went back to him. A fact she admitted to Diane Sawyer during her interview. It was only for a short time, but she did it.
• She witnessed domestic violence as a child.
• She feels shame from the event.

Those women and Rhianna are one in the same.  They too were beaten one day, only they stayed.  Unfortunately they didn’t have the fame, money, and fan support to help them leave a toxic situation. 

Furthermore, the assertion that she did something to “provoke” him into beating her is like saying cashiers at gas stations provoke masked gunmen to come in and steal money from the register.  Whatever she said or did was no more a provocation than the money in the cash register.  We all know gas stations have money in cash registers, but we don’t all come barging in with a ski mask on, pull a gun on the clerk, and demand money.  Why?  Because we have self control, morals, good sense, etc.  Each and every person on this planet is responsible for what they do with their own bodies.  At the moment he felt ready to put his hands on her, he should have stopped the car and walked away from the situation.  It was his responsibility not to let the situation escalate to that level because he was the one who could have prevented it.  He lost control.   No matter what she did or said, there is no justification for assaulting someone – NONE.

Sigh…

Sistagirlz, it really saddens me that people are so naïve.  So, before I jump down off my soapbox I want to say one last thing - Until you have been in the situation I suggest you keep your mouth shut about it.